We had some good news over the summer

If you know me, or if you have been reading this blog awhile, then you probably know that I have wrestled with the idea of homeschooling for years. I felt a growing conviction that I needed my kids out of public school. Catholic school was considered out of the question, as it was just something we knew we could not afford. But homeschooling scared the dickens out of me. I just wasn't sure I could get the job done right. So they stayed in the public school, year after year, while I fretted about it.

As time went on I felt this conviction getting stronger. For a long time I thought it was just my own idea and my admiration for those who do homeschool, and all of the fine families I have seen that homeschool, and all of the lovely children. But it still scared me. Then it got scarier. I started to realize that it wasn't my conviction at all - it was God's calling. Now many readers probably know exactly what I mean, but to some people I know I might just sound crazy. It's not like Jesus or Mary appeared to me in a vision and said, "get your kids out of public school," I just grew to understand that it was God telling me to get them out.

A little side note here: I don't think God has anything against public school. Please don't get me wrong on that. It's just that it wasn't part of His plan for my family.

But what to do about that? I started praying hard. One day I noticed an item in the church bulletin that the Catholic school right down the street was having an open house coming up on a day my husband happened to be home from work. So I decided we should go. My husband thought I was crazy because, like I said, we really had no idea how we could ever pay for it. But I insisted so we went. We loved it. LOVED it! But, the bad news was, most of the financial aid money, such as scholarships and Friends of Catholic Education, had already been given out in the spring. This was the end of May, a totally ludicrous time to decide to attempt this. But shortly after that a bulletin item appeared that our own parish had not allocated their aid yet to Catholic school families and the deadline to apply was coming up. So we took a long shot.

Now I have never been very good at putting things in God's hands. Oh I try, but I tend to snatch them right back. I am a worrier. But I prayed. I told Him, "Lord I am putting this in Your hands and I will not worry about it, but you HAVE to make it a clear sign. I can't be begging Paul to pay Peter trying to send my kids to this school. I need to know what You want." Done. I did it. I sat back and waited for my sign.

God has a sense of humor I think. About a week later a friend who homeschools, and who knew I was thinking about it, called up and said, "I know this is out of nowhere but the members of my homeschool co-op are over and I thought you just might want to drop by and meet everybody." I thought, that's it, that's my sign. I was so scared because I just didn't know if I could go through with the homeschooling. I didn't feel at peace, it didn't sit right, but I knew if God wanted me to do it then I would. So I went and met everyone. And they were lovely. Really great people, really great kids, but I was not at peace. I was confused because if this was my sign, why wasn't it clearer?

Fast forward a few more weeks. It is the day before I leave for vacation and the phone rings. It's the principal of this new school. She met with the Board and they have a financial aid offer for me. Who knew? Who knew the school had financial aid to give out? I didn't know. We still hadn't even applied to this school, though they knew we were interested and looking for aid from our parish. So she makes this offer, but I gotta get down there and apply and get all the paperwork in. The day before vacation. Somehow it got done and we left wondering what would happen next. And I still didn't feel that anything was clear. I hadn't received my sign. But a few days later, while I was on vacation, my cell phone rang. It was a call from our parish and they were going to be able to provide us with assistance too! And so now this was really happening, it was really within out reach! Bingo - my sign!!

I tell you, God has worked miracles for us here, because who would have thought there was any aid money left this late in the game? It's incredible! I have definitely learned how to put things in His hands now. It really is a bit like jumping off a cliff into blackness. I know applying to a school doesn't seem quite that drastic, but for us it was. We really were putting ourselves out into something that seemed out of our reach and we had no idea how it would work out. God can do anything, anything! So always listen, always trust His call. If He calls you He will equip you.