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Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Robe of Christ - by Alfred Joyce Kilmer
A friend sent me this in an e-mail and I loved it so much I wanted to share it.
Alfred Joyce Kilmer (1886-1918) was an American poet and a convert to the Catholic faith. His life was tragically cut short due to a gunshot in the head, likely from a sniper, during World War I. Among his poems is one titled: “The Robe of Christ” in which he recognizes that our Blessed Lady keeps us from being deceived.
At the foot of the Cross on Calvary
Three soldiers sat and diced,
And one of them was the Devil
And he won the Robe of Christ.
When the Devil comes in his proper form
To the chamber where I dwell,
I know him and make the Sign of the Cross
Which drives him back to Hell.
And when he comes like a friendly man
And puts his hand in mine,
The fervor in his voice is not
From love or joy or wine.
And when he comes like a woman,
With lovely, smiling eyes,
Black dreams float over his golden head
Like a swarm of carrion flies.
Now many a million tortured souls
In his red halls there be:
Why does he spend his subtle craft
In hunting after me?
Kings, queens and crested warriors
Whose memory rings through time,
These are his prey, and what to him
Is this poor man of rhyme,
That he, with such laborious skill,
Should change from role to role,
Should daily act so many a part
To get my little soul?
Oh, he can be the forest,
And he can be the sun,
Or a buttercup, or an hour of rest
When the weary day is done.
I saw him through a thousand veils,
And has not this sufficed?
Now, must I look on the Devil robed
In the radiant Robe of Christ?
He comes, and his face is sad and mild,
With thorns his head is crowned;
There are great bleeding wounds in his feet,
And in each hand a wound.
How can I tell, who am a fool,
If this be Christ or no?
Those bleeding hands outstretched to me!
Those eyes that love me so!
I see the Robe -- I look -- I hope --
I fear -- but there is one
Who will direct my troubled mind;
Christ's Mother knows her Son.
O Mother of Good Counsel, lend
Intelligence to me!
Encompass me with wisdom,
Thou Tower of Ivory!
"This is the Man of Lies," she says,
"Disguised with fearful art:
He has the wounded hands and feet,
But not the wounded heart."
Beside the Cross on Calvary
She watched them as they diced.
She saw the Devil join the game
And win the Robe of Christ.
Alfred Joyce Kilmer (1886-1918) was an American poet and a convert to the Catholic faith. His life was tragically cut short due to a gunshot in the head, likely from a sniper, during World War I. Among his poems is one titled: “The Robe of Christ” in which he recognizes that our Blessed Lady keeps us from being deceived.
At the foot of the Cross on Calvary
Three soldiers sat and diced,
And one of them was the Devil
And he won the Robe of Christ.
When the Devil comes in his proper form
To the chamber where I dwell,
I know him and make the Sign of the Cross
Which drives him back to Hell.
And when he comes like a friendly man
And puts his hand in mine,
The fervor in his voice is not
From love or joy or wine.
And when he comes like a woman,
With lovely, smiling eyes,
Black dreams float over his golden head
Like a swarm of carrion flies.
Now many a million tortured souls
In his red halls there be:
Why does he spend his subtle craft
In hunting after me?
Kings, queens and crested warriors
Whose memory rings through time,
These are his prey, and what to him
Is this poor man of rhyme,
That he, with such laborious skill,
Should change from role to role,
Should daily act so many a part
To get my little soul?
Oh, he can be the forest,
And he can be the sun,
Or a buttercup, or an hour of rest
When the weary day is done.
I saw him through a thousand veils,
And has not this sufficed?
Now, must I look on the Devil robed
In the radiant Robe of Christ?
He comes, and his face is sad and mild,
With thorns his head is crowned;
There are great bleeding wounds in his feet,
And in each hand a wound.
How can I tell, who am a fool,
If this be Christ or no?
Those bleeding hands outstretched to me!
Those eyes that love me so!
I see the Robe -- I look -- I hope --
I fear -- but there is one
Who will direct my troubled mind;
Christ's Mother knows her Son.
O Mother of Good Counsel, lend
Intelligence to me!
Encompass me with wisdom,
Thou Tower of Ivory!
"This is the Man of Lies," she says,
"Disguised with fearful art:
He has the wounded hands and feet,
But not the wounded heart."
Beside the Cross on Calvary
She watched them as they diced.
She saw the Devil join the game
And win the Robe of Christ.
Monday, June 8, 2009
I have the best husband
We went camping this weekend with a group from church. We go every year. It's great fun: hiking, swimming at the lake, campfires, and my favorite part...Mass. Yes our parish priest comes out to join us (this year he camped out too!) and says Mass for us at the campsite and then we have a big group dinner and campfire. There is nothing so lovely as Mass in the woods. You are right there with all of creation receiving Our Lord in the Holy Eucharist; it is truly moving.
The campground that the church group chooses is only about a half hour drive from where we live. So, since I have the little girls, I only come for the daytime activities and then leave my husband and the boys there to camp overnight. Well this time, the girls completely passed out during the campfire activities and they were just so sound asleep that I didn't want to wake them to get in the car and drive home. To be honest, I was a little worried that they would wake up when we got there (like 10:30 at night!) and then be difficult to get back to sleep. So I decided to stay.
Now, we weren't planning on the girls and I staying, so I had no extra sleeping bags or pillows or anything. Johanna was asleep in the stroller and our tent is a 10-man tent so it was easy to just roll her in there and let her sleep in that all night. Mary Rose was asleep in the car seat, so that was no problem either. But what to do with me? Well, my generous husband agreed to share the air mattress (not a stretch - it's a double), and give me his pillow (would be a huge sacrifice for me, but I knew that it wouldn't bother him), and I said I would use the comforter we had used to sit on at the lake earlier in the day.
Well, when we got into the tent my dear husband had everything all set up except he had given me the sleeping bag and kept the comforter for himself. Now I was kind of bummed about that because sleeping bags make me sort of claustrophobic, plus the comforter was a big, thick, king-sized one that I just knew would be comfier. I let it go though because I knew we hadn't been planning on me and we were just making do with what we had. I zipped up the sleeping bag and settled down for the night.
As it was I hardly got a wink of sleep. I was so claustrophobic in the bag and the baby woke up after an hour and had to get in with me, which just made it worse. Plus my back was really hurting because I didn't bring any ibuprofen since I hadn't been planning on sleeping on the cold hard ground. Finally, at some point, my husband got up and left the tent to go use the facilities. Well, here was my chance. I thought it would make it so much more comfortable if I could just unzip the sleeping bag and lay it out on the mattress then use the big comforter to cover us both. That way, the baby wouldn't be smushed right up against me and I'd finally get under that big warm cozy blanket. I kept thinking how annoyingly short sighted it was of him to not see that this was the best way when he'd set it up in the first place. I couldn't wait for him to see my design so he'd know that I have much better ideas and he should just check with me from now on before making any arrangements in the future.
So I got up, woke up the baby by moving her around, unzipped the sleeping bag, carefully laid it all out, moved the baby back, laid down myself and pulled the big blanket over top. And guess what? It was soaking wet! It was still soaking wet from when we had used it earlier at the beach. It had been crunched up in the car and not smoothed out to dry, so it was still very wet. And because it was the middle of the night, it was also very cold. It was a cold wet blanket, and my husband had given me the nice dry sleeping bag and laid under the cold wet blanket himself, all night, and never said a word, just so I could be comfortable.
What do you think I did? Well, I moved the baby over again , zipped the sleeping bag back up, put myself and the baby back in it, and left the cold wet blanket for my husband. Isn't that terrible? I never said a word. But for the whole rest of the weekend, and any time since, whenever I feel irritation with him coming on, I think of that beautiful quiet gesture he made for my comfort, because he loves me, and I feel so grateful I could almost cry. If that's not true love, I don't know what is.
The campground that the church group chooses is only about a half hour drive from where we live. So, since I have the little girls, I only come for the daytime activities and then leave my husband and the boys there to camp overnight. Well this time, the girls completely passed out during the campfire activities and they were just so sound asleep that I didn't want to wake them to get in the car and drive home. To be honest, I was a little worried that they would wake up when we got there (like 10:30 at night!) and then be difficult to get back to sleep. So I decided to stay.
Now, we weren't planning on the girls and I staying, so I had no extra sleeping bags or pillows or anything. Johanna was asleep in the stroller and our tent is a 10-man tent so it was easy to just roll her in there and let her sleep in that all night. Mary Rose was asleep in the car seat, so that was no problem either. But what to do with me? Well, my generous husband agreed to share the air mattress (not a stretch - it's a double), and give me his pillow (would be a huge sacrifice for me, but I knew that it wouldn't bother him), and I said I would use the comforter we had used to sit on at the lake earlier in the day.
Well, when we got into the tent my dear husband had everything all set up except he had given me the sleeping bag and kept the comforter for himself. Now I was kind of bummed about that because sleeping bags make me sort of claustrophobic, plus the comforter was a big, thick, king-sized one that I just knew would be comfier. I let it go though because I knew we hadn't been planning on me and we were just making do with what we had. I zipped up the sleeping bag and settled down for the night.
As it was I hardly got a wink of sleep. I was so claustrophobic in the bag and the baby woke up after an hour and had to get in with me, which just made it worse. Plus my back was really hurting because I didn't bring any ibuprofen since I hadn't been planning on sleeping on the cold hard ground. Finally, at some point, my husband got up and left the tent to go use the facilities. Well, here was my chance. I thought it would make it so much more comfortable if I could just unzip the sleeping bag and lay it out on the mattress then use the big comforter to cover us both. That way, the baby wouldn't be smushed right up against me and I'd finally get under that big warm cozy blanket. I kept thinking how annoyingly short sighted it was of him to not see that this was the best way when he'd set it up in the first place. I couldn't wait for him to see my design so he'd know that I have much better ideas and he should just check with me from now on before making any arrangements in the future.
So I got up, woke up the baby by moving her around, unzipped the sleeping bag, carefully laid it all out, moved the baby back, laid down myself and pulled the big blanket over top. And guess what? It was soaking wet! It was still soaking wet from when we had used it earlier at the beach. It had been crunched up in the car and not smoothed out to dry, so it was still very wet. And because it was the middle of the night, it was also very cold. It was a cold wet blanket, and my husband had given me the nice dry sleeping bag and laid under the cold wet blanket himself, all night, and never said a word, just so I could be comfortable.
What do you think I did? Well, I moved the baby over again , zipped the sleeping bag back up, put myself and the baby back in it, and left the cold wet blanket for my husband. Isn't that terrible? I never said a word. But for the whole rest of the weekend, and any time since, whenever I feel irritation with him coming on, I think of that beautiful quiet gesture he made for my comfort, because he loves me, and I feel so grateful I could almost cry. If that's not true love, I don't know what is.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Oh my aching back...
About a month ago I turned 39. Now 39 doesn't sound old to me at all and I'm not the kind of person to get all worked up about almost being 40, because 40 doesn't sound all that old to me either. In fact, 75 doesn't even sound old to me and I am always shocked when reading the obituaries, because unless the folks were closing in on 100, I am always surprised at their young demise. Seriously.
But now I threw out my back.
Well, I threw it out about 2 weeks ago, but I haven't really been able to move right since.
The first day that I really threw it out, I went to lift my 2 year old into her highchair and wham! I couldn't move. Thank Heaven for my 9 year old! He was able to lift her up, give her breakfast, get her back out of the chair, put her shoes on and get her into her car seat for me (up in my Yukon no less!) or I would never have been able to get him and his brother to school on time. During the time he was doing all of this, I crawled over to the medicine cabinet, pulled myself up and took 800 mg of Ibuprofen. So by the time I dropped them off at school, the pain was manageable and I was able to get her back out of the car and into the house.
Since then I have been taking Ibuprofen on and off for pain that comes and goes. Along with my back pain is hip pain, that in reality I have had for several years, but could ignore a lot more when I didn't have the back pain. I also have shoulder pain, but have had that all along, so that's a different story altogether. There is nothing that makes you start to feel old like the break down of your body!
I'm pretty sure that all of this is the result of years and years of being pregnant, hunched over nursing, carrying an infant and a toddler up and down the stairs, at the same time no less(!), and carrying those ridiculous infant car seats around. Also, I am all for slings and wraps, etc., I could not get anything done without them, but I don't think they are helping my back either. Or my shoulder for that matter.
My mom sent me an article a few months ago (how do moms know these things before they happen?!) that talked about all of the bad habits moms have and how these habits can hurt their bodies. I was completely offended by this article. I felt particularly affronted by the suggestion that the only proper way to carry an infant car seat is with both hands on the handle and holding it directly in front of you, not hanging it over your arm like a picnic basket. Well, obviously these moronic authors aren't ushering 5 kids, including an infant, a 2 year old and a 5 year old, across a busy parking lot twice a day!! I need my hands free while I am holding that carrier! Of course I'm going to hang it on my arm like a basket! And now I have the hip and back injuries to prove it! This is why I canceled all of my parenting magazine subscriptions only one year into motherhood. I never found them to be useful to real life. Plus they pretty much just made me anxious that I was doing everything wrong. It's especially daunting when you read an article about an age group your child is past - say an article about 3 month-olds and yours is now 1 - and you realize you did not do any of the things they suggest, and actually did two of the top five things they say parents shouldn't do. Well, now you're convinced that your child is going to grow up to be a convicted felon and there is nothing you can do about it because your moment has past! That is why I don't read those magazines.
So, now, I don't really know how to stop doing the things I am doing that are hurting my back. Tell me a way to cook dinner without my fussy 2 year old on my hip and my fussy 6 month old strapped to my back? I wouldn't get anything done! I have no idea how to hold hands with a 2 year old without bending down low, walking around hunched over. And my baby is only 6 months old! I have years of this stuff ahead of me!
For now the Ibuprofen is helping, but I know I can't keep taking it forever. I need to get to a chiropractor or maybe even a physical therapist. Hey, there is nothing like walking around hunched over like Quasimodo to make you feel like maybe one year off of 40 is just a little bit old after all. I'm just glad I have all these great kids to keep me young in my heart, even as they are killing my back!
But now I threw out my back.
Well, I threw it out about 2 weeks ago, but I haven't really been able to move right since.
The first day that I really threw it out, I went to lift my 2 year old into her highchair and wham! I couldn't move. Thank Heaven for my 9 year old! He was able to lift her up, give her breakfast, get her back out of the chair, put her shoes on and get her into her car seat for me (up in my Yukon no less!) or I would never have been able to get him and his brother to school on time. During the time he was doing all of this, I crawled over to the medicine cabinet, pulled myself up and took 800 mg of Ibuprofen. So by the time I dropped them off at school, the pain was manageable and I was able to get her back out of the car and into the house.
Since then I have been taking Ibuprofen on and off for pain that comes and goes. Along with my back pain is hip pain, that in reality I have had for several years, but could ignore a lot more when I didn't have the back pain. I also have shoulder pain, but have had that all along, so that's a different story altogether. There is nothing that makes you start to feel old like the break down of your body!
I'm pretty sure that all of this is the result of years and years of being pregnant, hunched over nursing, carrying an infant and a toddler up and down the stairs, at the same time no less(!), and carrying those ridiculous infant car seats around. Also, I am all for slings and wraps, etc., I could not get anything done without them, but I don't think they are helping my back either. Or my shoulder for that matter.
My mom sent me an article a few months ago (how do moms know these things before they happen?!) that talked about all of the bad habits moms have and how these habits can hurt their bodies. I was completely offended by this article. I felt particularly affronted by the suggestion that the only proper way to carry an infant car seat is with both hands on the handle and holding it directly in front of you, not hanging it over your arm like a picnic basket. Well, obviously these moronic authors aren't ushering 5 kids, including an infant, a 2 year old and a 5 year old, across a busy parking lot twice a day!! I need my hands free while I am holding that carrier! Of course I'm going to hang it on my arm like a basket! And now I have the hip and back injuries to prove it! This is why I canceled all of my parenting magazine subscriptions only one year into motherhood. I never found them to be useful to real life. Plus they pretty much just made me anxious that I was doing everything wrong. It's especially daunting when you read an article about an age group your child is past - say an article about 3 month-olds and yours is now 1 - and you realize you did not do any of the things they suggest, and actually did two of the top five things they say parents shouldn't do. Well, now you're convinced that your child is going to grow up to be a convicted felon and there is nothing you can do about it because your moment has past! That is why I don't read those magazines.
So, now, I don't really know how to stop doing the things I am doing that are hurting my back. Tell me a way to cook dinner without my fussy 2 year old on my hip and my fussy 6 month old strapped to my back? I wouldn't get anything done! I have no idea how to hold hands with a 2 year old without bending down low, walking around hunched over. And my baby is only 6 months old! I have years of this stuff ahead of me!
For now the Ibuprofen is helping, but I know I can't keep taking it forever. I need to get to a chiropractor or maybe even a physical therapist. Hey, there is nothing like walking around hunched over like Quasimodo to make you feel like maybe one year off of 40 is just a little bit old after all. I'm just glad I have all these great kids to keep me young in my heart, even as they are killing my back!
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