This long long week has finally come to an end. It's been so stressful and exhausting, I am so glad it is over. I can't imagine what it is like for the family members who will not move on as quickly as I.
I have been so amazed and in awe of the family, both families, and how they have held up through all of this. So many people would easily succumb to the temptation for anger and/or despair. These people are living their faith exactly as Jesus tells us to, with love and forgiveness. The statement issued jointly by the 2 families is a perfect example:
"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised" - Job 1:21
At this time of great sorrow, the Billotti and Wood families and friends choose to remember and celebrate the lives and love of the Chris and Francie Billotti-Wood family. Having been married for six years, Chris 34, and Francie, 33, shared many wonderful experiences, together with their three beautiful children - Chandler, 5, Gavin, 4, and Fiona, 2. After spending the first five years of their marriage living in Florida near the children's grandparents, Chris and Francie decided to move the family to Middletown, Maryland (Francie's hometown), a year ago. Since arriving in Frederick County, the Wood family has been active at Holy Family Catholic Community Church. They played and coached soccer, were active with T-Ball and together recently participated in a family marathon.
Chris and Francie shared a love for each other that was evident in their daily lives and interactions with others. Their devotion to their children was apparent to anyone even modestly acquainted with the family. Francie and Chris will always be remembered as beloved children, treasured siblings, and affectionate parents. While their time on this earth may seem too short from our finite perspective, family and friends continue to focus on the beautiful moments shared with the children, and with Chris and Francie. We will always remember the sound of their laughter. And we rejoice in the knowledge that we will see them again someday when our Heavenly Father calls each of us home to his side. The LORD gave and the LORD took away. Yet we praise the LORD for the gift of this family, and for the many ways that Chris, Francie, Chandler, Gavin and Fiona have touched our lives and the lives of others, changing us all for the better.
In these most difficult times, the Billotti and Wood families stand united, loving on and comforting one another as Christ Jesus directs. It is through the strength of family, the love of friends, and the support of our hometown communities, that we are able to boldly embrace the future, choosing to live each day without regrets. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated. Despite the hardships of living in this world during these difficult times, our family's prayer for you is that you consciously choose to focus on what's true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - we pray you may think about such things (Phil. 4:8) And cling to your family, honestly embracing one another in love, no matter the circumstances. God's ways are not our ways. Yet, there is a plan.
May the peace of God be with you and your family.
Even in their time of great sorrow these folks are thinking of us - the community, the world - and praying for us. I met Francie's sister, mother and father last night at the wake and they were so strong, I just couldn't believe it. Greeting mourners, directing folks as to where to go, who was in which casket, etc. I mean I was really floored. Her father had just discovered his daughter and her family murdered only 6 nights before and yet he was composed. The whole funeral was, as they said, a celebration of this family and their love.
Today, at the funeral Mass, Father Kevin spoke of the oneness of this family. He used the passage from Luke that says, "What God has joined together, let no one separate." Nothing, not even this unspeakable act can separate that this is a union sanctified by God and must be remembered and celebrated as such. I wish I could remember the entire Homily word for word, it was that good, but my powers of recall are pretty bad. I will say though, that it was deeply moving, and a real call to examine how well you follow your faith. These two families have set the bar high, and while t hey themselves might falter in the days and weeks ahead, they have shown us the course we must follow.
I don't know how people with no faith life at all can make it through a tragedy. To be honest, mine was shaken this week. I love and trust the Lord, but it is almost inevitable when faced with a horrible tragedy such as three children murdered, along with their parents, that you question things. I questioned God. But in the end I know that His will is always love and mercy and that God turns evil into goodness and this can already be seen in the coming together of this small town community. But how do people who don't believe in a higher power deal with such a thing? How awful to face a tragedy like this and think that it is just random and with no meaning, no healing power, no redeeming grace, no...nothing? I just don't know how they are comforted.
Today was a very difficult day. I hope I never ever have to attend an event like that again. But I am consoled by the message of love and mercy and forgiveness that Jesus has brought to the world.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Getting Through
Well, as the title of this post says, we are getting through. It's been a difficult and exhausting week. On top of all the sadness and anxiety, my husband was out of town, so it was twice as hard. And I couldn't sleep. I can't sleep when he's away anyway, but I was just a bundle of nerves, between worrying about my son and trying to absorb the shock. I ended up with a migraine headache all day yesterday. Luckily, I am blessed enough to have a mother who lives nearby and she was able to come watch my kids for me while I rested.
Henry has done beautifully dealing with the death of his friend. I am so proud of him. I decided on Monday morning that the best thing to do was tell him before he went to school, because I felt quite sure that he would hear it there and I didn't want him blindsided. I want him to know that I will not shy away from difficult conversations and that he can trust me to always give him straight (albeit age-appropriate) answers no matter what. I want to lay that foundation early. So, I did, I broke the news that his friend had died and he would not be seeing him anymore. When he asked me how he died I simply said, "I can't tell you that, but I can tell you that he's in Heaven with Jesus and he is happy." That seemed good enough for him.
At school, part of the routine in the morning is that they sit in circle time and count the number of kids and then if anyone is missing the teacher asks who is missing. So on Monday they stuck to routine. And when they were one short she said, "Do you know who is missing?" And they all said, "Gavin." Then one child blurted out, "because he died." The teacher said, "Yes he died, but he is in Heaven now and he is happy." Then later they all drew pictures of things they liked to do with Gavin. My son drew them chasing each other on the playground. Our teachers are awesome. I am so amazed by their strength. They are suffering so much but they pull it together and are there for our children completely. They have kept them in routine and answered their questions straightforwardly. We are so blessed to have them.
That same day, back at home, we were reading a book about Noah's Ark when Henry suddenly asked me, "But what happened to all the other animals?" And I said, "well, honey, they died." "Where did they go?" "Heaven." "What's Heaven like?" And so I realized, Gee we aren't talking about Noah's animals anymore are we. But we had a great conversation about Heaven and that night he asked if we could pray for Gavin during bedtime prayers.
Today I took Henry to Mass with me (school was out for a previously scheduled teacher work day) and we prayed for Gavin during the intentions. I thought it was important for Henry to see a community all praying together for an individual's needs. I had Henry say his friend's name when Father asked, "and what else should we pray for?", but as you might expect, he said it so quiet I had to reiterate. Still, I hope it made an impression on him that a faith community is there for each other and can/should be leaned on in times of need.
My older son peppered me with questions so that I finally had to tell him that the whole family had died, but at least I didn't have to tell him how. I am beginning to suspect that he is putting the pieces together. Unfortunately, the murders are such big news around here that it is all the talk at all of the schools, even the elementary schools. He hasn't said a word though. I hope he comes to me first. I asked him to. I said, if you have any more questions please come ask me, but don't bring it up to Henry anymore because he doesn't need to think about it more than he already is.
Well, that is the update. My husband is home now, so all the stress has been cut in half. Honestly, it was an instantly noticeable reaction - the weight lifted from my shoulders the minute I saw him. So tonight I am going to bed before midnight for the first time in 4 days. Tomorrow is the wake and a candlelight vigil and Friday is the funeral. 2 more days to get through. I need to rest up. Goodnight!
Henry has done beautifully dealing with the death of his friend. I am so proud of him. I decided on Monday morning that the best thing to do was tell him before he went to school, because I felt quite sure that he would hear it there and I didn't want him blindsided. I want him to know that I will not shy away from difficult conversations and that he can trust me to always give him straight (albeit age-appropriate) answers no matter what. I want to lay that foundation early. So, I did, I broke the news that his friend had died and he would not be seeing him anymore. When he asked me how he died I simply said, "I can't tell you that, but I can tell you that he's in Heaven with Jesus and he is happy." That seemed good enough for him.
At school, part of the routine in the morning is that they sit in circle time and count the number of kids and then if anyone is missing the teacher asks who is missing. So on Monday they stuck to routine. And when they were one short she said, "Do you know who is missing?" And they all said, "Gavin." Then one child blurted out, "because he died." The teacher said, "Yes he died, but he is in Heaven now and he is happy." Then later they all drew pictures of things they liked to do with Gavin. My son drew them chasing each other on the playground. Our teachers are awesome. I am so amazed by their strength. They are suffering so much but they pull it together and are there for our children completely. They have kept them in routine and answered their questions straightforwardly. We are so blessed to have them.
That same day, back at home, we were reading a book about Noah's Ark when Henry suddenly asked me, "But what happened to all the other animals?" And I said, "well, honey, they died." "Where did they go?" "Heaven." "What's Heaven like?" And so I realized, Gee we aren't talking about Noah's animals anymore are we. But we had a great conversation about Heaven and that night he asked if we could pray for Gavin during bedtime prayers.
Today I took Henry to Mass with me (school was out for a previously scheduled teacher work day) and we prayed for Gavin during the intentions. I thought it was important for Henry to see a community all praying together for an individual's needs. I had Henry say his friend's name when Father asked, "and what else should we pray for?", but as you might expect, he said it so quiet I had to reiterate. Still, I hope it made an impression on him that a faith community is there for each other and can/should be leaned on in times of need.
My older son peppered me with questions so that I finally had to tell him that the whole family had died, but at least I didn't have to tell him how. I am beginning to suspect that he is putting the pieces together. Unfortunately, the murders are such big news around here that it is all the talk at all of the schools, even the elementary schools. He hasn't said a word though. I hope he comes to me first. I asked him to. I said, if you have any more questions please come ask me, but don't bring it up to Henry anymore because he doesn't need to think about it more than he already is.
Well, that is the update. My husband is home now, so all the stress has been cut in half. Honestly, it was an instantly noticeable reaction - the weight lifted from my shoulders the minute I saw him. So tonight I am going to bed before midnight for the first time in 4 days. Tomorrow is the wake and a candlelight vigil and Friday is the funeral. 2 more days to get through. I need to rest up. Goodnight!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Need prayers. Really need prayers...
Oh, I don't even know how to start writing this. I found out last night that my five year-old's friend was murdered in an apparent murder/suicide by his own father. The father killed the mother and the three children: a 5 year old boy, a 4 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. Tomorrow is back to school and I am going to have to talk to him about it. The school's policy is that they will not be announcing anything, but they will answer children's questions if asked - to a point. Then they will be directing them to mom and dad. I have talked to other parents and some children already know, so I have no doubt that it will come up. I cannot bear to have my child's innocence shattered, but that is what is going to happen in about 9 hours from now.
You may have heard the story, it's made national news. If not, Google Middletown, MD murder and you'll get it. I cannot comprehend how such a thing could happen. I did not know this family well, but I knew them. I sat in the parking lot after school just on Thursday asking Francie where she got those cute hairbows her daughter wears all the time because I wanted some for my little girls. She said her friend makes them and was gonna e-mail me the info. Her boy didn't show up for school Friday. So I'm gonna go ahead and claim to be one of the last people who talked to her. It freaks me out. I remember meeting her husband at their son's birthday party. He was very nice. They were a wonderful family and you could see he was a good father. It's crazy.
The first time I met Francie she was inviting my boy to a birthday party for hers. Later I had a question and e-mailed her. I thought I was mistaken when I found out she was inviting my whole family to the party, not just my son. She said, no I'm inviting all of you, I know my husband and I wouldn't want to give up our family time on the weekend so we wanted families to come all together. How wonderful and thoughtful is that? But what really impressed me is that she signed her e-mail "God bless, Francie". Most people don't profess their faith to casual acquaintances like that, but she did. I thought it was awesome. She had the most beautiful children and it is a truly a loss.
I am so sick I can hardly function. When will the world ever seem normal again? I prayed the Divine Mercy chaplet all day - for ALL of the deceased. I cannot imagine what demons possessed that man, but I am so sorry that it came to this. Jesus has already won the war so why does Satan contine to wage battles???
Please pray and pray hard. For this family, for the family members left to grieve, for the grandparents of these beautiful children (it was the grandfather who discovered the gruesome scene, can you imagine that???), and for all these little children in the preschool whose worlds will be changed forever.
You may have heard the story, it's made national news. If not, Google Middletown, MD murder and you'll get it. I cannot comprehend how such a thing could happen. I did not know this family well, but I knew them. I sat in the parking lot after school just on Thursday asking Francie where she got those cute hairbows her daughter wears all the time because I wanted some for my little girls. She said her friend makes them and was gonna e-mail me the info. Her boy didn't show up for school Friday. So I'm gonna go ahead and claim to be one of the last people who talked to her. It freaks me out. I remember meeting her husband at their son's birthday party. He was very nice. They were a wonderful family and you could see he was a good father. It's crazy.
The first time I met Francie she was inviting my boy to a birthday party for hers. Later I had a question and e-mailed her. I thought I was mistaken when I found out she was inviting my whole family to the party, not just my son. She said, no I'm inviting all of you, I know my husband and I wouldn't want to give up our family time on the weekend so we wanted families to come all together. How wonderful and thoughtful is that? But what really impressed me is that she signed her e-mail "God bless, Francie". Most people don't profess their faith to casual acquaintances like that, but she did. I thought it was awesome. She had the most beautiful children and it is a truly a loss.
I am so sick I can hardly function. When will the world ever seem normal again? I prayed the Divine Mercy chaplet all day - for ALL of the deceased. I cannot imagine what demons possessed that man, but I am so sorry that it came to this. Jesus has already won the war so why does Satan contine to wage battles???
Please pray and pray hard. For this family, for the family members left to grieve, for the grandparents of these beautiful children (it was the grandfather who discovered the gruesome scene, can you imagine that???), and for all these little children in the preschool whose worlds will be changed forever.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Join the tea party!
To protest President Obama's economic plans, including $1.4 trillion in new taxes and the redistribution of wealth, go here to send your virtual teabag.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Will your OB/GYN also be an abortionist?
Below is a copy of a message straight from the Americans United for Life website. The Department of Health and Human Services is accepting comments from the public until April 9th regarding the proposed removal of conscience protection for medical professionals. Read the article below or go here to learn more.
Dear Friend,
Imagine if the only doctor you could find to deliver your baby was also an abortionist.
That's Planned Parenthood's new goal -- to run every pro-life healthcare provider out of the medical profession. According to David Stevens of the Christian Medical Association, a Planned Parenthood lawyer told him in a recent debate on National Public Radio (NPR), "If you are unwilling to provide a legal healthcare procedure, you have no business being a doctor."
In other words, if you're a doctor who is not willing to perform an abortion, get another job.
Last year, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) implemented an important rule that forbids hospitals and other healthcare programs who receive American tax dollars from discriminating against pro-life doctors, nurses, and other healthcare providers.
Now President Obama wants to overturn it.
This radical agenda of Planned Parenthood will cause thousands of healthcare workers to be targeted with discrimination claims by allies of the pro-abortion lobby.
Is your obstetrician pro-life? Planned Parenthood would prefer that you have no doctor at all than for your doctor to be pro-life. Shortages in doctors already exist -- one-third of rural woman live in counties with no OB/GYN.
U.S. Senator and practicing obstetrician Dr. Tom Coburn told CNSNews.com that he was willing to defy the law if President Obama tries to force pro-life doctors into doing abortions:
I think a lot of us will go to jail. Let’s see them prosecute the first one of us for not doing that.
AUL and AUL Action joined with allied groups to create the Freedom2Care coalition and fight back.
Right now, HHS is accepting comments from you about whether they should keep or rescind these important regulations protecting pro-life healthcare professionals. Whether you're a patient or healthcare professional, I need you to send your message to HHS through the Freedom2Care.org website and tell them to keep the rules in place and prevent discrimination against pro-life doctors.
Patients -- Comment Here
Healthcare Professionals -- Comment Here
Deadline: Midnight, Thursday April 9
In addition, please contact your Members of Congress and ask them to support conscience protections for pro-life healthcare providers.
Patients Contact Congress Here
Healthcare Professionals Contact Congress Here
We can't allow Planned Parenthood and their pro-abortion allies to force pro-life professionals out of medicine. Please stand with me today in defending their right to keep caring for us.
For life,
Charmaine Yoest, Ph.D.
President & CEO AUL Action
Dear Friend,
Imagine if the only doctor you could find to deliver your baby was also an abortionist.
That's Planned Parenthood's new goal -- to run every pro-life healthcare provider out of the medical profession. According to David Stevens of the Christian Medical Association, a Planned Parenthood lawyer told him in a recent debate on National Public Radio (NPR), "If you are unwilling to provide a legal healthcare procedure, you have no business being a doctor."
In other words, if you're a doctor who is not willing to perform an abortion, get another job.
Last year, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) implemented an important rule that forbids hospitals and other healthcare programs who receive American tax dollars from discriminating against pro-life doctors, nurses, and other healthcare providers.
Now President Obama wants to overturn it.
This radical agenda of Planned Parenthood will cause thousands of healthcare workers to be targeted with discrimination claims by allies of the pro-abortion lobby.
Is your obstetrician pro-life? Planned Parenthood would prefer that you have no doctor at all than for your doctor to be pro-life. Shortages in doctors already exist -- one-third of rural woman live in counties with no OB/GYN.
U.S. Senator and practicing obstetrician Dr. Tom Coburn told CNSNews.com that he was willing to defy the law if President Obama tries to force pro-life doctors into doing abortions:
I think a lot of us will go to jail. Let’s see them prosecute the first one of us for not doing that.
AUL and AUL Action joined with allied groups to create the Freedom2Care coalition and fight back.
Right now, HHS is accepting comments from you about whether they should keep or rescind these important regulations protecting pro-life healthcare professionals. Whether you're a patient or healthcare professional, I need you to send your message to HHS through the Freedom2Care.org website and tell them to keep the rules in place and prevent discrimination against pro-life doctors.
Patients -- Comment Here
Healthcare Professionals -- Comment Here
Deadline: Midnight, Thursday April 9
In addition, please contact your Members of Congress and ask them to support conscience protections for pro-life healthcare providers.
Patients Contact Congress Here
Healthcare Professionals Contact Congress Here
We can't allow Planned Parenthood and their pro-abortion allies to force pro-life professionals out of medicine. Please stand with me today in defending their right to keep caring for us.
For life,
Charmaine Yoest, Ph.D.
President & CEO AUL Action
The Church Of Oprah
I have never been a fan of Oprah even purely on an entertainment level. But now I feel I really need to spread the word warning others against Oprah completely. What she is doing is dangerous. She is confused and what's more, she is confusing millions of people. I think what makes me most sad, and possibly what needs to be the focus of our prayer, is that so so many people are so far from God and empty, that they are looking to Oprah for spiritual direction. And she has decided to take it upon her own self to judge whether or not the Word of God has value. Scary stuff. Watch this video and then pass it on to your friends. Oprah isn't harmless entertainment anymore folks. (remember: go to the sidebar and pause the music first so you can hear the video).
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Maybe it made a difference
I went over to the clinic to pray yesterday and I brought Mary Rose (4months) with me because it was a beautiful day. When I got there a young man was standing and talking with all of the ladies I usually pray with. I assumed he was someone's son since most of the ladies are about the right age to have been his mother. I said hello and then he asked if he could take a picture of the baby. I figured he was documenting the occasion out here with his mother (still didn't know which one it was) so I said yes. He took the picture with his phone, which I remember briefly thinking was an odd tool to use to take photos for a memory book. Then I went over to another group of ladies and started praying the Rosary with them. The young man hung around for a long time then suddenly he jumped in his car and left. After awhile he came back and hung around some more, and then he left again. So I asked the woman next to me, who is that guy? And I was surprised by the answer.
He had followed his girlfriend down from Pennsylvania. Her mother and her other boyfriend were bringing her here to have an abortion. It's unclear which boyfriend is the father. Her mother has brought her to another state to have this abortion because her father is a big wig and is important in their community and this would be embarrassing. I'm thinking, isn't he already embarrassed by a daughter promiscuous enough to not even be sure who has fathered her baby? But, anyway, this young man doesn't want her to have the abortion. He doesn't care who the father is, he wants her to keep it and he wants to help her. He has been texting her all morning. No one is sure what is going on. The whole thing is taking too long; she's been in there, texting back and forth with him, for about 2 hours. He thinks he sees a great opportunity when I show up with my baby and he takes a picture and sends it to her. See, this is what you would be killing... He drives up closer to the clinic to see if he can see in and figure out what's happening In the end she tells him to meet her at the hospital up the street. It's about 2 blocks away. He looks hopeful and drives off.
It doesn't make sense to us. Why would she go to the hospital? Her message didn't tell him there was an emergency and we can't figure what else would send her there. I think maybe she told him to go there to get him away from the clinic. Maybe her mother made her get rid of him. There's no way to know. We have no idea what her car looks like, so we can't tell if she's left or not. We can't find out the end of the story. I want to think that she finally asserts herself against the other boyfriend and her mother, and that she runs off to find the man who cared enough to drive for two hours to save her baby's life. I want to imagine that she saw that picture of my baby and thought, I can't do this. But I'll never know. I'm just praying that it made a difference.
He had followed his girlfriend down from Pennsylvania. Her mother and her other boyfriend were bringing her here to have an abortion. It's unclear which boyfriend is the father. Her mother has brought her to another state to have this abortion because her father is a big wig and is important in their community and this would be embarrassing. I'm thinking, isn't he already embarrassed by a daughter promiscuous enough to not even be sure who has fathered her baby? But, anyway, this young man doesn't want her to have the abortion. He doesn't care who the father is, he wants her to keep it and he wants to help her. He has been texting her all morning. No one is sure what is going on. The whole thing is taking too long; she's been in there, texting back and forth with him, for about 2 hours. He thinks he sees a great opportunity when I show up with my baby and he takes a picture and sends it to her. See, this is what you would be killing... He drives up closer to the clinic to see if he can see in and figure out what's happening In the end she tells him to meet her at the hospital up the street. It's about 2 blocks away. He looks hopeful and drives off.
It doesn't make sense to us. Why would she go to the hospital? Her message didn't tell him there was an emergency and we can't figure what else would send her there. I think maybe she told him to go there to get him away from the clinic. Maybe her mother made her get rid of him. There's no way to know. We have no idea what her car looks like, so we can't tell if she's left or not. We can't find out the end of the story. I want to think that she finally asserts herself against the other boyfriend and her mother, and that she runs off to find the man who cared enough to drive for two hours to save her baby's life. I want to imagine that she saw that picture of my baby and thought, I can't do this. But I'll never know. I'm just praying that it made a difference.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Living Stations of the Cross
Last night was our presentation of the Living Stations of the Cross. As most of you know, I was honored to play the Blessed Mother. It went really well. The man who played Jesus was phenomenal. It was really easy for me to cry; the agony on his face was unbearable. The whole cast was really amazing. They were all incredible. I was chilled by Pilate, grateful for Simon of Cyrene, moved by Veronica and the Women of Jerusalem, held up by the strength and comfort of the Disciple John. Honestly I felt like I didn't deserve to be there. I could not have done it without them. I was truly so heartsick at the suffering of Our Lord that I had a hard time staying focused. I had to look to them all to keep going. Thank goodness Our Lady needed to be lead around a lot because I often forgot where I was supposed to go and just let others take me! I'm joking a little, but truly the whole experience was amazing and I am blessed to have worked with so many wonderful people.
Unfortunately, I was not able to get many pictures. Just one actually. My husband couldn't figure out how to turn off the flash and he didn't want to disturb others in their prayer and meditation. So all I have is this picture of The Fourth Station: Jesus meets his Mother. I'm not sure how much you can tell from this but here it is. I'm the one in the white dress and blue veil. Ha ha.
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